i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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