I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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