I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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