She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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