Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
