have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
