Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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