the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
