If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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