Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
