what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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