i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
