Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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