I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
