sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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