If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
