i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
