I like to think it a success when the cops are called
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
