I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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