porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
