So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
