Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We have started to decorate penises.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
