yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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