Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
