On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Soap is not a condiment
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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