sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize