You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
