around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
