why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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