So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
