I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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