I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
