I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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