Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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