Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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