my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
