My sheets look like a crime scene.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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