is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
