she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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