Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
