We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize