my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
