wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize