I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
