she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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