I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
