Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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