No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
