I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
