Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have demons in me.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
