Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
