Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
