onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
