Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
