guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize