she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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