Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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