my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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