So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
