how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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