have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
