I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
