Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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