I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
